Yesterday someone who I know for quite some time, asked me why I am like I am.
Why I'm so cold, why I'm so alone, and why I stay home all day. Why I'm awake at night, and why I sleep at day.
First I told them I'm a vampire. Of course they didn't believe me. Heh.
Then I told them, that I'm not like this because I want to. Which is the truth.
But they kept telling me that I could just change. What they didn't want to accept is, that I, don't have neither motivation nor strength anymore, to even try. "Believe it or not."
I feel abandoned. No, in fact, I am.
It's not a nice feeling.
In the last years, I have always been trying to help people, I always cared for my friends more than for anything.
But no one returned this simple feeling. And now there's also no one left anymore.
I've come to the conclusion that people just are like this. I just get dissapointed everytime I realize it.
So at this point I've been alone with myself for a long time. And all this time, I was desperately trying to find something that would bring a change.
An ironic side effect of this all is, that I started avoiding even the people that are left and my family, because I don't want them noticing.
Anyway. I can't do anything but carry on. Since suicide is against my principles.
If you got this far, then thank you for reading about my simple feelings. Write a comment about what you last ate before reading this. Seriously, do it. You have nothing to lose.
Oh yeah. And there's also that thing. "New year." Not that I give a flying f*ck but okay. A good opportunity to get drunk. Have fun.